Don't laugh

Posted by Kristin on Friday, October 5, 2012.

As you know I am trying to put together a coat.  Why I am still trying I have no idea.  The cat "helps" a smidge too much, cancelled my order because they don't understand how technology works, I don't like the fabric I ordered from another company AND the other company sent me the wrong lining.  The universe is telling me to stop.  But because I am stubborn, I am continuing to move forward (quite like the Titanic, I'm afraid).

Since I have spent a small fortune on ugly coat fabric and notions, I don't have the funds leftover for a dress form.  So I scoured the internet and found out how to make my own out of duct tape.  Yes, duct tape. 

Step 1:  Put on an old t-shirt that you don't mind losing and be sure to use the bathroom (you are about to be wrapped in duct I really have to explain the bathroom part?).

Step 2:  Find someone who is willing to cover your torso in duct tape AND willing to cut you out after about 2 hours of wrapping (that second part is extremely important....).  I somehow convinced my out-of-town boyfriend that this would be a great way to spend a Saturday evening.

Step 3:  Get mummified!  Well, get taped anyway.  It is best to use pieces no more than about 12 inches in length and you want at least 3 layers of tape.  Don't get even a tiny bit of the tape on your skin and forget about it.  I still have bruises to prove what a bad idea this is (and no, ripping it off fast DOESN'T hurt less Mr. Murphy!).

Here I am looking a little like I am trying to dress up like a knight in shining duct tape for Halloween.  Attractive, isn't it? You really don't need to answer that, it was rhetorical.

Step 4:  Cut straight up the back, through all of the layers of duct tape and the t-shirt.  Take off your sweaty straight-jacket like wrapping and tape the cut line back together.

Step 5:  This is more of a cautionary step...don't leave your shell overnight without filling it.  It will slowly melt into a puddle of duct tape on the floor.  Don't ask how I know this...

Step 6:  Stuff your body double with newspaper.  Lots and lots of newspaper.  I covered my open arms and the hole where my head should be with cardboard and taped it in place.  Place your new trailer park dress form on something to help it stand (I used the center of a large bolt of fabric, others have used PVC pipe).  Use a Christmas tree stand as a base.  

Step 7:  Dress your mannequin.  Or not.  I chose a lovely sheer t-shirt and a crinoline because, well, why not?  I thought I needed to dress her up a bit.

Step 8:  Go back to step 6 and make sure you have taped over your cardboard bits extremely well.  Otherwise the weight of the form will push the pole right through your neck.  And then it will fall in the middle of the night, causing you to have a mild heart attack.  Luckily, mine landed 'face' first which squished my fake chest.  So now my form makes me look a little flat chested and pregnant.  I am neither one of these (trust me).

I may end up forking over the couple hundred for a for real dress form....but since my project is off to great start, I'll just use my duct tape form.  If I'm lucky, the gummy adhesive from the tape will make the coat a permanent addition to the form. 

3 Responses to Don't laugh

  1. Anne Magee

    I love it! Informative... yet hilarious :)

  2. Anonymous

    Sweet blog! So glad to be participating in Flying Lessons with so many remarkable and talented women!

  3. Kristen Conley

    Love it! Maybe that's why I don't sew my own clothes...because there is no way I want to see a life size and ungorgiving version of my torso. NO WAY!

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